So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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