Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
