someone owes me an orgasm
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
