No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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