1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just want nice things and good sex
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
