ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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