2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
