im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
