Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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