he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what is it with giant penises always finding me
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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