I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need a beard to bite.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize