Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
