If i come over, it means nothing
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
