did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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