i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
