you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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