I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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