I faked an abortion last night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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