did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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