I skipped work to stalk him.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
