Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
