I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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