he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
