This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
