Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
