Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize