it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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