pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
