STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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