people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
