I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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