So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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