That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
