I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
