Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
