She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize