Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize