meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
