Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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