Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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