peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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