ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
