i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
