After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
