I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
