Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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