I want to stick my p in your. b.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize