I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
