I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
