Kiss
Puke
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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