I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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