please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
