we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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