we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
and you fell through a lawn chair
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
