So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
